My claims to superdom, or should that be superDUMB?

This was part of my horoscope for July 27, 2001. Perhaps tonight would have ended on a better note had I taken the time to read it.  However, that leaves me wondering would I have really adopted this line of thinking in my given situation?  Who knows?

You can listen more carefully and you can reach within yourself for your deepest powers of discrimination. Then, at least, you will be part of the solution, not the problem.

~Cainer Horoscopes

Ever have one of those situations where you give and give and give of yourself only to find that your giving amounted to little more than a mole hill?  Heck, to find that it amounted to virtually nothing more than a few specks of sand on the already sandy desert floor.

That's my situation. 

Since our move from Arkansas to Texas, I have felt like the definition of SuperWife.  I practically unpacked every box in our new home on my own.  This was a tedious job of lifting, sorting, and unpacking the very large and quite heavy boxes that had been packed by huge men from our Mayflower crew.  And while Big C returned to work, I made merry days with the kidlets unpacking boxes and trying to establish services that should have been established in the weeks prior to our move.  I smiled and made merry through the incessant calls to do this, do that, make sure this is done followed by that being done... I did them all with a big smile on my face.  I was truly eager to do and to help and it showed.  I was finally in Texas, and big C would be home every evening rather than only on the weekends. I was ready to make our new house a home, and I was especially ready to settle into a routine.

Now, not only had I become the SuperWife, but my role as "his mistress" had gone from better than average to, whoah man, most men have to pay for this kind of stuff!  Yeah, I truly felt like I was on the SuperWoman roll.  A clean and settled home and a more than happy and fulfilled spouse.

I made the huge, did I spell that out clearly, H-U-G-E mistake of speaking out my claims to superdom... what a mistake. It was quickly met with a, "Welllllllll, I don't know that you have been being super anything.  Yes, you are trying hard and doing an amazing job, but we still argue and disagree."

WTheck!  My immediate description of how I felt about that statement was, "I feel like you just put a lid on my candle."  I felt awful.  I had no claim to superdom, my only claim was to superDUMB!

So much for my moment of conceit. It was obviously one of those moments where you walk away thinking, "Damn! That was the best I had." and accepting defeat.  Perhaps my only fault was in thinking I was super.  Perhaps things would have gone differently had I just accepted I was doing my best.  Again, who knows?

So, I'd like to end this rant with a few words of wisdom that a dear FB friend shared quoted by Mother Teresa, "The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."~ Mother Teresa


So, I will continue to be the lady who lays her claim to superdom, and fingers crossed, I won't be looking back thinking I was just superDUMB.

Ode to sweaty men everywhere

It's ironic. All through grade school we scoffed those with bad body odor, armpit stink, gym odor, etc. (shame on me), and now I find myself strangely loving the smell of my husband's sweaty body and even enjoying his sweaty laundry. For years I thought it was a little strange. Yeah, I know the research says that body odor includes pheromones. However, I was struck by the fact that something that had once been perceived as a bit gross was now quite enjoyable.

To make a valuable point, a study published in the journal Biology of Reproduction, suggested something in the perspiration brightened women's moods and helped them feel less tense. Wysocki, a study co-author, said the research could point to a "chemical communication" subtext between the sexes... And, while there was no indication of sexual arousal during this research, Wysocki did acknowledge that, "In a more sensual setting, exposure to these odors might facilitate the emergence of sexual mood or feelings."

WHAM! I'm not weird!! At least not in this context.

On to my story. Last night, after big C and I had completed a four-mile run in temps with a heat index of 109, we lounged on the back patio. I slid into our little patio love seat right next to him and enjoyed being in the presence of this sweaty man. Something that many others might find unsatisfying, possibly even making them want to sit quite a long distance from this sweaty man, was bringing me such joy.  I felt at ease, protected, loved... and well, a bit like we needed to be alone and the kidlets needed to go to bed immediately. I know all those feelings are also the product of our almost 11 years of marriage, but in the back of my mind, I also know that his sweaty body and the pheromones released through his sweat contribute to that feeling.

It's really amazing how many variables play such a significant role in the relationship of couples.  So yes baby, I like to get sweaty with you... and I like to sit right next to you when you are all soaked with sweat.  I like to workout with you and frankly, all this sweat makes my role as mistress that much more fulfilling.

So... I suggest, quite naively, don't be afraid to sniff your sweaty man or that sweaty laundry he left laying on the bedroom floor!

More than a SAHM

You read that right. I'm more than a stay at home mom. I'm a homeschooling mom, cook, cleaner extraordinaire, and one hot husband pleasing woman. The latter part is just how I see it.

So often I have friends ask, "How do you do it all? It seems like everything is perfect with your relationship and your children." I'm honored that people think so. It's not always so. We have some major knock down drag out fights (well, me and the big C, not the littles... obviously), but we love like there's no tomorrow (and frankly, like sex is going out of style). 

Personally, I think sex is the key to a hot, happy, and intimate marriage. We can be friends all day long, but without our intimiate relationship, our happy and pleasing intimate relationship... we'd just be friends. Friends is great, but in a marriage, you need more than just a friend. There's a much deeper connection to be had, a trust, a respect... well, it's a journey. It's passion.

We are blessed to have been one another's first and only; I think in today's society that gives us an advantage that others see as unfair. However, I don't know. I can't speak for others. We have had 10+ years to practice intimacy and trust me, it's good. We've learned the art of mutual pleasure.

So how do we stay so happy? Why do things seem so good? I'm the hot steamy mistress by night and he's the amazing and passionate hotty that this wife needs by day.

And this works great for us...

Stuck like...

Well... you know how peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth and drives you absolutely batty? You must have a glass of milk to pry the sticky substance of gooey goodness down from the roof of your mouth. You go nuts without the milk, right? You don't want to deal with the sticky... but you still go for the peanut butter because it's so darn good. That's my life; in a nut shell.

So good, so delectable... and at times all I want to do is get the sticky off the roof of my mouth!

I would never trade my sticky peanut butter life for anything... EVER!

The joy that is...

I've debated doing this blog for months now. I'm such an open person. No secrets here. I feel like secrets are intended for people with something to hide. I don't hide much.

Just a quick run down: I'm actually married to my high school sweetheart. We began dating in 1997 and in 2000 we were married. It's been joyful bliss since.
I am no one's mistress and don't intend to ever be such to anyone other than my husband, of course. Why the name, you ask? Well, things get pretty outlandish and wild and frankly, immature at times. It just seemed fitting and well, pretty darn catchy too. I also like to think that during the daylight hours I'm just his wife, but when the lights go out... I'm more mistress than wife. ;)

I'm also the mother of two fine homeschooled children. Blessed, indeed.

For what it's worth, I rant, I rave, I whine (and wine), and I shout with joy. I have been cursed with this amazing ability to feel things on a much deeper level than most people I know. On top of that... I was given the gift of gab -- in writing.

So, here I am. Angry. Joyful. Loved. Loving. Liberated. Confined. Blessed. Misfortunate. The rollercoaster of my life... as his mistress and his wife.

Please, come join me on this wild ride. Meet the mistress and meet the wife.